I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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