we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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