He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
