I like my sex mixed with concussions.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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