Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
