Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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