I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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