Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
