ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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