if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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