Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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