He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
