lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
