'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
