I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
