i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
