new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
