the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
