is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
