By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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