He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
