everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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