Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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