Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You're like the curious george of whores
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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