whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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