her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
