Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
