He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
