just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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