If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
