Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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