sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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