if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
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