I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
