I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
