so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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