By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
