and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
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