i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
