The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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