I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
