So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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