they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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