I wish I only lived at night.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
