Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
