actually, I'm a sock model
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
