boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
