I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just invented taco cereal.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize