are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
