i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
