is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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