grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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