My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
