i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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