there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
