I need help removing her.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
