Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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