i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i came on her dog
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
