You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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