38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm both gender and math confused
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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