just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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