I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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