Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
