I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
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I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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