I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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