we're blogging at a bar
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
